She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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