I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am spending my child support on dildos
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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