yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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