I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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