he wants to bone in the snuggie
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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