I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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