i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
