My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dick very happy bro
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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