I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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