quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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