I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
