Reggie can tackle my bush.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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