Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
