Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
