Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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