Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
