Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
