talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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