It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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