so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
birth control should be required to get into college
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
