is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
