plz talk dirty to me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
