it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
