They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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