You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
