my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
