what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
