they need to just BURY HIM!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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