my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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