Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
