a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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