Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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