walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
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