Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
