I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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