It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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