she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
