my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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