Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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