I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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