Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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