i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
At least life still wants to fuck me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize