The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
