I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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