6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
