Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
