Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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