I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
