At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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