4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Randomize
