You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
