Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
