Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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