Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
