On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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