So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
