I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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