Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
