haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
