this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So many bounce houses so little time
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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