You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
