There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He felt like a one man threesome
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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