let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
