Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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