Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
